Drowning in emails – Robin Writes

My name is Robin, and I have email anxiety.

Ok so some of this (dare I say) fear of my inbox comes from a reasonable place. While I was writing my dissertation and applying for jobs, emails were often life-changing, soul-crushing, and heart-rending. There were also times that I missed extremely important, time-sensitive information because it got buried in my inbox or I waited too long to work myself up to open it.

But I’m also finding that these days a big part of my email anxiety comes from the time dealing with emails demands of me. Emails are not just messages. They are reminders for action, they contain important instructions that need to be followed carefully, and they are delicate communications that set the tone of professional and personal relationships. There are also so many of them.

When I started working from home in 2019, I began to break up my day by types of tasks. I knew that I did my best writing between 10 and 2 and that I’d be most emotionally prepared to deal with other people before or after that. So I dedicated the first hour of my morning to emails. Back then, it was just thoughtful messages – me asking other people for advice or opinions, other people asking me to set up meetings, and the occasional communication about my writing. Now my emails are event invitations, course content from my past self, endless back-and-forth exchanges to set up meetings and trade information, and of course mountains of cc’s. Dealing with my email is no longer an hour a day, but days worth of triaging leading up to twice-weekly 2-hour sessions where I can sit at my computer (as opposed to my phone) and do all the important actions my emails demand of me, like submitting grades or using my benefits. And this is simplified from last year, when I had three separate work emails, between my grad school, my teaching job, and my fellowship.

I’m not kidding myself, either. I know that this is just the beginning. I try to imagine how many emails my graduate advisor or my department chair gets. I’m amazed they can keep their heads on straight. But as with all aspects of the profession, I know this is a skill that will improve in time as long as I don’t run from it. The first step has to be letting go of the fear of emails. I let go of the fear of academic criticism (or maybe I’m just numb to it) and it’s making me a better writer. Now I need to get out of my own way and just answer my goddamn emails.